Awkward

I definitely consider myself to be independent; comfortable in my own skin. I live by myself, I'm okay with my own company (this is starting to sound sad so I'm going to move on). My point is, that sometimes I'm reminded why people find it difficult to be in public places by themselves. As I finished my walk about the Piazza Duomo I decided I deserved some food, wine and gelato. Picking a nice place to eat wasn't as easy I thought, the choices were endless, so I decided to just close my eyes and point (actually, I just stopped at the one with the cute waiter). It was during this lunch that I realized that I don't often dine out alone. I stay at the movies by myself, but I can't honestly remember a time where I willing went to eat at a restaurant all by my lonesome.

After fidgeting with the menu for a while then placing my order, I had no idea what to do with myself. I'm sitting at a beautiful restaurant with an open air view of the Duomo and I feel so uncomfortable. I don't have a book, I can only look at my map so any times and with no wifi my phone is useless. 'What do I do with my hands? I don't know what to do with my hands'. I did the only sane thing I could think of (this, of course, was after a serious of extremely awkward glances to people next to), I took out my journal and started writing about how awkward I was.

I kept thinking to myself, what would I have done without my journal? Probably fake played with my phone. Then I thought, why is this so awkward? This must be a cultural thing or maybe just a social effect of our generations subconscious need to seek relationships by isolating ourselves in technology. We no longer know how to be present and exposed. In fact, that's exactly how I felt: exposed.

Anyway, my waiter was amazing with his old flirtatious self. He spoke to me very slowly in Italian so that I could respond in very broken Italian, which was probably just me speaking Spanish with an Italian accent. Moral of the story... Gelato should be had at every meal!